mp8 in the pipeline!

A quantum leap is expected soon in the field of audio compression, scientists have reported. An 5 year research program, veiled in secrecy, has uncovered a method to make the leap directly from mp3 to mp8, completely circumventing 4, 5, 6 and 7.

It is not known exactly what features the new audio codecs will bring, but it is thought that we can expect:

• high compression rates, enabling an average music file to be compressed into just a couple of bytes. The algorithm is said to do all the work of creating the music by globally storing and analyzing musical trends and intelligently predicting the most likely progression of the song. The music of Mariah Carey has so far proved to compress the most effectively.
  
• ultra-high quality sound reproduction, such that the compressed song actually sounds better than the original!
• a controversial and top-secret viral component serving as pre-emptive copy protection, whereby the mp8 files actually reproduce themselves, invading last-generation sound reproduction devices such as mp3 players and forcing the owner to listen to an endless loop of, say, country and western music.

Cynics predict that the industry will hold back on release of the new mp8 wonder-codecs, opting to progressively release them so as to ensure maximum commercial mileage from mp4, mp5, mp6 and mp7, and it is believed that the open source community is already working on its own version, Mploola.